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Handling Family Disagreements When Arranging Services

Family disagreements commonly arise when a loved one passes. Emotional levels are high and can lead to pain, confusion, and arguments. Navigating through grief can be different for each family member. If there are no final wishes from the loved one, family members are left with making all final arrangements. 

These are ways to deal with disagreements when arranging funeral services for a loved one. There are many benefits to writing out your last wishes to avoid disputes with your family.

1. Compromise and Communicate 

Remember that not all family members will agree with the decisions being made; accepting potential differences from the start is essential. 

A few common issues that families may have to compromise on include:

  • Whether you should have a burial or a cremation
  • Allocation of the budget
  • Choosing the funeral home
  • Service types, such as a formal funeral, informal gathering, a memorial service, or none
  • Service location, such as at the funeral home, at a particular place of significance to the deceased loved one like a park or church
  • Choosing the casket, a cemetery plot, a headstone or grave marker, urn, or vault
  • Family options for personalization, like flowers, memorial candles, readings, music, and unique personalization
  • Cultural and religious observations 

Take a break if your planning becomes too emotional or upsetting. Some families choose to hire a mediator to help resolve any disagreements between family members. It’s important to remember to be honest and open about your feelings. It’s essential to include everyone’s input before the arrangements are finalized. 

2. Form a Plan

Having a plan will help to avoid conflicts and provide a road map for everyone in the family. If you choose to have a family meeting, have an agenda planned and ready, including a listing of the essential topics that need discussion like the ones listed above. 

Your plan will also allow family members to stick to the critical topics on the agenda and avoid old arguments, grudges, and any other distractions that could keep you from planning a meaningful arrangement for your loved one. 

3. Share the Responsibilities

Many decisions need to be made in the planning of final arrangements. Including family members and sharing in the responsibility of planning will evenly distribute the decision-making process.

Religion plays a significant role in some people’s lives, so if this is important to a family member, allow them to incorporate any special touches that will make the service more meaningful. Some family members may wish to put together memory boards with personalized photographs or videos or choose flower arrangements. In dividing the decision-making, other family members can concentrate on the remaining decisions. 

A key thing to remember is to ensure that all family members are involved in the more significant, more meaningful discussions such as the budget and burial decisions.

4. Funeral Director Consultation

An agreement can be reached by allowing each family member to express their point of view. If the family still struggles in decision-making, a funeral director should be consulted. 

The funeral director is an excellent choice as a mediator when clashes or differences of opinion occur. The funeral director will answer questions and clear up any confusion regarding the options available with burial and the creation and celebrations of life. 

5. Recognize Everyone’s Grief Journey is Different

The reaction to loss is different for everyone. Not everyone will agree on how emotions should be expressed, and it’s important to remain mindful of the situation.

Supporting family members at a difficult time helps to prevent conflicts. Listening without interrupting is essential. Even if you do not agree with their beliefs or opinions, let them know you are together in your grieving and that you respect their opinions. 

Preplanning Your Funeral will help to Avoid Conflict

Making a written record of your final wishes helps to prevent arguments and disagreements among family members. One of the best ways to avoid conflicts within the family is to plan by preplanning. Today’s prices are locked in when your funeral is pre-planned. This will not only save money but will also alleviate any stressful decision making.

 Click here for information on pre-planning. 

Dealing with the loss of a loved one is never easy. Preplanning your funeral can help save your family a lot of time, money, and emotional distress. Give us a call today and schedule a meeting so that we at Jeff Monreal Funeral Home can pre plan your funeral. Give yourself the peace of mind that you deserve.